The Dixon Cycle
by lunastars
Summary: [A one-shot following directly after the end of 3x10] - "I came back 'cause I felt I belonged," he shrugged. "But you and Lil' Asskicker are my priority." [...] "I'm sorry I couldn't save Axel," he mumbled. "But I'll protect you and Lil' Asskicker." - [SPOILERS FOR SEASON 3 EPISODE 10, "T" rating for swearing and mention of abuse.]


**A/N**: A one shot set straight after season 3 episode 10 "Home". I had so much Daryl feels, especially when you saw his back, so there's mentions of that. There's also a little bit of Caryl and a slight Carol/Axel suggestion.

* * *

Daryl, Rick and Merle all looked towards the others. There was a field filled with walkers separating them. The three men cleaned and/or loaded their weapons before all looking at each other and giving the same agreeable nod. They walked along the fence line, only moving away from formation to strike any walkers in the head that got too close. As they got closer to the broken fence the walkers seemed to dwindle.

"Too many walkers," Daryl growled as he scanned the field between the two fences. "We get too close to that other fence they'll swarm it."

"We need to get in," Merle argued.

"Think I'm stupid?" Daryl questioned. "I know that!"

"We can't risk the group," Rick urged.

"Fine," Merle sighed before turning to Rick. "How's your gun?"

"I'm out," Rick sighed. "Can only use it as a weapon if I get close enough."

"Well looks like you'll be heading straight to the fence," Merle muttered. "Daryl and I will keep them distracted."

"Yeah," Daryl agreed. "Get 'em all ready when you get inside to shoot the walkers while we run."

"OK," Rick agreed.

"Better not leave me for the walkers again," Merle warned.

Rick only nodded as they stepped through the broken fence and carefully up the field. The walkers seemed oblivious 'til they reached the halfway point. As the walkers crawled closer Rick darted towards the fence while the brother's covered him.

As soon as he was in they fired at the ones that blocked their path. Rick stayed near the fence ready to open it as soon as Daryl and Merle got closer. The group had the guns that were left and sharp objects to get any walkers who wondered too closer. Daryl and Merle managed to clear a path. Rick opened the gate when they got closer, only wide enough for them to squeeze through before he closed it again.

As he locked the gate in place one of the walkers brought its hand down, only just missing Rick's. As Rick jumped away Merle swung forward and smashed the walker in the head with the butt of his gun. Rick nodded at him and thanks, and Merle only shrugged.

Michonne walked the fence, taking out strays as the others moved to re-group further away from the fence. Hershel and Beth headed inside to check on Judith, and so that Hershel could rest. When the remaining members brought their attention back to each other, Glenn's eyes narrowed on Merle.

"He isn't staying here."

"He saved my life twice," Rick argued.

"And that rights all his wrongs?"

"No," Rick agreed. "But I'm not throwing him out now with those things out there, not after he saved me twice."

"He can save this whole damn group and I'd still want him out," Glenn shot back.

"If he fucks up again I'll put an arrow in his head myself."

They were all stunned into silence by this. Each of them silently questioning whether he would actually do that or not. Daryl raised the crossbow to his brother's head and held his finger on the trigger to prove his point.

"That's not the first time he's done that today," Merle ground out.

"And I'll do it again if I have t'," Daryl told them.

"It's the best we're going to get," Maggie nodded. "I wouldn't throw anyone out to those things, 'cept maybe the governor."

"Fine, for now," Glenn growled. "But I want someone watching him at all times."

"Done," Rick nodded. "Anyone get hit? That includes scratches and bites."

"From a quick scan, I don't think so," Carl informed.

"Axel was shot," Carol whispered, attempting not to cry.

"Where?" Rick asked.

She quietly led the group over to where Axel lay. His body was bloody and torn. She knelt down beside him and gently pushed the hair out of his eyes. They were open still, he looked afraid. She gently closed them and leaned down to kiss his temple. She had just started to like him, felt like they were becoming equals then this had to happen.

When she stood back up Rick gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "We'll bury him."

"Where?" she asked, indicating the field of walkers.

"We'll find somewhere," Carl said.

"Thank you," she nodded.

"Didn't think you two were so close," Maggie said softly.

"I guess I always thought he was annoying," she shrugged. "But he was changing, today was the biggest one of them all. He was being open towards me, being really nice and even complimented me. Made me smile."

"I promise we'll find somewhere to bury him," Maggie smiled sadly.

"I agree," Rick nodded. "But first let's get inside, eat while we can and formulate a plan before things get any worse."

"I can help move Axel's body somewhere more appropriate 'til we can bury him," Daryl offered.

For the first time Carol looked at him. As nervous as he was he forced himself to look her in the eye. She didn't look sad or angry like he expected but just empty, like she didn't have the energy to feel something towards him. That's why it shocked him when she stepped forward and slapped him.

As she stepped away Merle grabbed her arm and turned her back round. "Apologise."

Glenn and Maggie both moved closer to intervene and Carl held his gun up.

"Why should I?" she spat. "He left and had the choice to come back, Axel didn't chose to leave and he doesn't get to come back."

"Sorry 'bout your boyfriend, lady, but that don't give you the right to hit my brother."

Let her go," Daryl spoke up. "I deserved that."

She sighed heavily as Merle let go of her. "I'm happy you're back, Daryl, but this whole thing just isn't fair."

"I understand, you're angry," he whispered. "Couldn't have been easy seein' him die like that."

She shook her head. "No, it wasn't."

"Come on," Rick said as the tension slowly slipped away.

They all made their way back up to the prison. Daryl pulled his bag closer to his back. The group eyed him suspiciously as he did, and more when he started to drift to the back. He wasn't acting right. He'd normally be at the front, and even if he was at the back he would have his bow ready to fire, now it just hung loosely from his shoulder.

When they got into the prison Daryl felt himself relax, he felt it more so when he spotted Judith. A grin spread across his face when he noticed "Lil Asskicker" written across her make-shift cot. He couldn't help but feel happy at the little sight. It caused Merle to laugh when he saw the grin on his brother's face.

"I get why you went running when you heard that baby cry," Merle chuckled. "You're lookin' like it's yours or something."

"Dixon's don't deserve to have kids," Daryl said simply.

Merle frowned at that. He always believed (and more so now) that Daryl would be the Dixon to have kids and change the cycle. The one to treat 'em right, but his brother didn't seem to have the same thought.

Daryl stepped closer to Judith and Beth. She seemed unsure but she still tilted her arms so Daryl could get a better look. He softly stroked the baby's cheek, who started to gurgle and open her eyes, as if she knew who it was with a simple touch. Daryl's grin got wider and Beth needed no more encouragement to pass her over. He quickly dropped his bow as he cradled the baby in his arm.

"Look at you," he said softly. "So big."

"What was that about Dixon's don't deserve that have kids?" Merle smirked.

"Hate to say it, but I agree," Maggie nodded, and surprisingly Glenn agreed too.

"She ain't mine though," Daryl shrugged. "Are you?"

Judith looked up at him questioningly and he chuckled. He hadn't spent much time with the kid but he knew that she had made him happier than any other person in his entire life. Hell, he could never imagine himself holding a baby yet here he was. He liked the idea more than he should have.

Suddenly Judith cried and he rocked her gently. Beth disappeared to get a bottle and when she returned Daryl handed Judith back. He watched the two of them for a moment before he moved away.

"Let me take your bag," Carol said softly.

He whipped round as she reached for it. He backed away, looking like a deer caught in headlights. All the anger she had felt before washed out of her as she watched him. When she stepped forward Daryl took another one back. The whole group watched him questioningly, but Merle sighed sadly.

"He needs a new shirt," Merle said. "Ripped his."

"That's why you won't let me take your bag?" Carol asked.

He only shrugged and back away a little further. He tried to regain his composure but it wasn't working. They could all see that something really wasn't right with him. Feeling embarrassed he pushed pass them all and towards the stairs, intending on heading up to his perch.

"I've been seeing Lori," Rick said suddenly.

Daryl froze. "Excuse me?"

"I know she's not really there," Rick told him. "But I see her. She wears a white dress. Sometimes she looks happy to see me and other times it feels like she's judging me. Apart from Hershel earlier, this is the first time I've spoken about it."

"Why are you?"

"'Cause I trust you all and I need this off my chest," Rick said simply. "I want you to know that it works both ways."

"I ain't got shit to tell you," Daryl ground out.

"Maybe he's got a point," Merle said slowly.

Daryl whirled round. "So now _you're_ all friendly with them?"

"You've been carry that crap around in your head for too long."

"Only 'cause you left," Daryl growled, shoving him hard. "I'd have nothing to carry round if you'd stayed."

"I'd have killed him," Merle grunted. "Told ya that."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Daryl grumbled.

"What's he talking about?" Carl piped up.

"Nothing," Daryl snapped. "Wish I never came back here."

He went to go up the stairs but suddenly Beth's voice broke through. "Daryl Dixon you come back over here and tell us what the hell is going on!"

Daryl looked at her with stunned silence. When he went to speak she beat him to it.

"Don't you dare argue," she warned. "We're family, and you're scaring us, so you need to help us understand before we worry like crazy."

He didn't know what to say, he'd never heard so much come out of Beth at once. Hell, he'd never heard the kid raise her voice. She suddenly looked so strong. His eyes darted to Judith in her little cot. He let out a low sigh.

"We're talking about our ol' man," Daryl informed.

"Keep talking," Beth urged. "Why would he have killed him?"

"'Cause anyone who met him would've wanted to," Daryl shrugged.

"Daryl," Carol breathed out, and he was scared she'd worked it out, hell, if anyone was going to it would be her.

"Don't," he ground. "I just need a good shirt then I'll help ya'll."

"Why is it ripped?" Carol asked.

"I grabbed it," Merle explained.

"Did he hurt you?" Glenn asked, venom clear in his voice.

"Nah," Daryl managed to chuckle. "He hits like a girl."

"I'll get you a shirt," Carl said, hoping to help some.

"Thanks," Daryl nodded.

Michonne watched the entire encounter and gently stroked her sword, cleaning it with a cloth. She hadn't strayed too close to the group or said much. She would have made a comment or two now but Hershel decided to move and she stepped closer to help him. Everyone seemed to almost go back to their usual things, and Daryl was hopeful that he would get away from this with no more questions.

"His old man was the one who hurt him," Michonne grunted. "It's clear as day. Did something to his back too I bet."

"Excuse me?" Rick asked, turning to look at her, the others seemed to have the same questioning look.

She did't look phased. "You're all stupid for not noticing it with the way he's been acting."

She led Hershel to the other room to get food for the group without another word. The others followed her with their eyes before looking back at Daryl. He shifted uncomfortably on the spot and when Carl reappeared he quickly grabbed the new shirt. He nervously backed away. In an attempt of desperation Carol pulled the front of Daryl's shirt to keep him in place. But he yanked away and the fabric that kept the shirt together pulled apart.

"Shit," he grumbled as the shirt pulled away.

He held the new shirt to his chest before darting up the stairs. He rushed into one of the open cells and kicked the concrete wall. Quickly throwing his bag down he pulled his new top on. Confident that no one had followed him he laid down on the bottom bunk for a moment. His eyes stayed locked on the bottom of the bunk above him.

"Knock knock."

He ignored Carol as she stepped into his cell.

"We were talking with Merle."

"What crap has he been sayin' now?"

"Said that it wasn't his place to tell us your past."

"It's his too," Daryl shrugged.

"He said," she nodded.

When he didn't speak she moved further in and even sat on the bed beside him. He scooted over enough so she wouldn't fall. He kept his eyes on the bottom of the bunk above him. He flinched as she placed a hand on his chest.

"How bad are they?"

"Can't see the worse ones," he shrugged, finally giving in.

"What ones can you see?"

"Couple on my chest and stomach."

"Can I see?"

He lifted his shirt only slightly so she could see a little scar on his stomach, near the waistband of his pants. She ran her finger across it. It looked like a cigarette burn. She figured it was one of the smaller ones and that's why he showed her. She unbuttoned her shirt slightly. He watched her questioningly as she lowered it to expose her shoulders. When she turned slightly he saw a similar mark on her shoulder.

"Ed?"

She nodded. "Only real permanent one I've got, it was bruises after that, few broken bones, things that healed."

"You didn't deserve that."

"Neither does a kid," she said softly. "I'm assuming you were."

He nodded. "Yeah, as good as."

"Where was Merle?"

"Happened to him too so he left, before it happened to me."

"He looks torn up down there," Carol commented.

"He didn't know," Daryl shrugged.

"You never told him?" she asked, a little stunned.

"Hell no," Daryl said stubbornly. "Thought I was the lucky one."

"Do you want to talk about it some more?"

"I'm good," he muttered. "Ya'll ain't allowed to look at me like that neither."

"Like what?"

"Pity," he mumbled. "They all used to look at you like that. And I see you all glancing at Rick, I mean you must do with the whole Lori thing."

"It's not pity," Carol promise. "We're just worried about you. We knew something was right, you distant yourself too much and you seem to get all awkward in most situations. But we didn't want to just assume."

"Then what was with the interrogation down there?"

"Family help each other."

"Does that mean you really did understand me leaving?"

She smiled and gave a small nod. "Yes, it hurt that you did, but I understood."

"I didn't want to hurt ya," he whispered.

"Trying to tell me you care about me?" she smirked.

He sat up in a flash, and she almost fell off the bed in shock. "You tellin' me that you thought I didn't?"

She suddenly seemed nervous. "I-I-I-"

"I came back 'cause I felt I belonged," he shrugged. "But you and Lil' Asskicker are my priority."

"Merle?" she questioned.

"He jumps between first with you guys and second with the others."

"Daryl..."

"I'm sorry I couldn't save Axel," he mumbled. "But I'll protect you and Lil' Asskicker."

She nodded. "Then let me protect you."

He let out a low sigh and fell back onto the bed. She shifted a little closer but kept enough difference so he wouldn't become uncomfortable. They listened to the group who seemed to be discussing some ideas. Daryl smiled a little as he heard Merle give some suggestions, good ones in fact. Carol watched him curiously, without saying anything.

"I'll never leave again," he promised.

"I know," she nodded.

* * *

_R&R_


End file.
